024: Perception is reality with Steve White

Given the work-intensive, stress-inducing nature of modern society, our lives are a composite of various pressures swirling together simultaneously: friends, family, relationships, work, ascending the job ladder, and so on. Each of us understands and can relate to these challenges. But how can we overcome them without being consumed by stress? Steve White, CEO of insurance powerhouse BIBA (British Insurance Brokers Association), has led an illustrious career in the insurance industry. In this episode, he details his personal journey of self-improvement, emphasising the critical importance of self-awareness in order to make genuine progress. In conversation with Coffee, Calm & Connection’s Sarah Myerscough, he shares his wisdom regarding how you can overcome your personal trials and tribulations by engaging in meaningful dialogue with others to identify your strengths and weaknesses.

 

Quote of the Episode

“Never assume that you are perceived the way you think you are. You are what people perceive you to be. Perception is reality, at the end of the day.”

Many of us hold views about ourselves (many of which are heavily self-deprecating) that give no reflection of our true selves. We often struggle to see ourselves organically, trapped in an echo chamber of self-recriminations and abuse. Steve White suggests that the perspective of other, trusted people can be highly enlightening in this regard. He argues that we should approach those we trust, who need not necessarily be friends or family, but reliable sources who will speak the truth, and ask for their genuine, unfiltered perceptions about ourselves, and how we can improve. Steve claims that this process can be both vindicating and insightful, and that while doing so requires you to be vulnerable and receptive of criticism, it can help us better understand the person that we truly are, as opposed to who we perceive ourselves to be. We cannot see ourselves clearly; it is only others who can provide unfiltered insight about who we truly are, and thus, how we can improve.

 

Key Takeaways

Self-knowledge is perhaps the most crucial characteristic required when beginning the journey of self-discovery. It can be harnessed through mindful and meditative practices such as the quick, easy courses offered by Coffee, Calm & Connection. Ultimately, to identify what is holding you back from reaching your goals, you need to be able to ask yourself questions. What are my strengths and weaknesses? What am I good at? What can I lean on when times are tough? In answering these questions, you can begin to learn more about how you tick, and the habits which may either fuel your progress or potentially obstruct it.

As human beings, we naturally approach many of our conversations throughout the day with an agenda, which we may or may not be actively aware of. This is particularly important in the workplace, where we have certain tasks to complete and goals to achieve. However, in doing so, we have a tendency to anticipate how these conversations will unfold before they have even occurred, preventing us from actively listening to what the other party is saying. In letting our conversations unfold naturally and authentically, you may learn things about yourself which may never have surfaced otherwise.

This requires a certain amount of vulnerability. We all have a ‘work persona’ that might be different to our regular persona. But we shouldn’t be afraid to let the latter shine through sometimes, especially when we are struggling. If we feel comfortable in work environments, we can be more productive, as we are not trying to live up to an expectation of ourselves that likely cannot be fulfilled, if it isn’t true to who we are. Many of us have a tendency to erect a solid brick wall between our home and work lives. It’s important, essential, even, to have that sense of separation, and it’s inevitable that in those different settings, our different priorities will bring out different parts of our personalities. However, if we can retain a sense of the comfortability with ourselves that we have at home in the workplace, we could see improved results in productivity, and a boost in our overall wellbeing.

Steve White suggests that actively asking others how we are perceived is essential to self-improvement and overcoming the stressful challenges we embark on every day. If there is a disjoint between how you would like to be perceived and how you are perceived, you can do something about it. Therefore, you should weigh up what you believe about yourself with what others see in you. In doing so, you will better understand what is truly holding you back. Sometimes it takes someone directly vocalising a trait we hold for us to be able to recognise it within ourselves.

There is so much to learn from others. We can never hold all the answers, not even about ourselves. But we can endeavour to find them, if we ask the right people, and if we dig deep enough by asking the right questions.

 

Best Moments/Key Quotes

“Make sure you have a clear understanding of what your strengths and your weaknesses are. That's a pretty good start point for life I think is understanding what it is you're good at. What are you not so good at? What do you what are your What do you lean on when time when times are tough?”

‘We all put on a work persona, that may be a little different to the personal persona.’

“None of none of us have got the Complete Book of learning. It's a personality strength to recognise that you don't know… When it comes to learning, I've met a few people down the years who would take the suggestion of training as a personal insult. Well, I'm sorry. As I say that the book is never full when it comes to learning.”

“Self perception is just as important as other people's perception. And I think how you perceive yourself is how you project yourself.”

“I'm going to challenge everybody listening to go and speak to one family member, one friend and one trusted source, whether it's work or some other community that you're involved in and ask them, tell me what you think of me. What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? And how do you perceive me?”

 

Resources

https://www.picturethisai.com/ 

 

About the Guest

Steve White is the CEO of the British Insurance Brokers Association (BIBA), with an extensive career in the insurance industry. He previously worked for Norwich Union, followed by a 21 year stint at Orion Insurance Company, a few years with the General Insurance Standards Council, and subsequently, the Financial Services Authority.

Steve’s LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/steve-white-437107a 

 

Connect with Sarah 

https://www.instagram.com/coffeecalmconnection/ 

https://www.facebook.com/coffeecalmconnection 

https://www.linkedin.com/company/70927508/admin/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahmyerscough/ 

 

HOSTED BY: Sarah Myerscough 

 
DISCLAIMER 

The views, thoughts and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to the host and guest speakers. Please conduct your own due diligence. 

   

Website: www.coffeecalmconnection.org