028: A journey of self-improvement with Sandra Lewin

Are you keen to begin your journey of self-improvement, but unsure of where to start? Are you struggling to identify the type of person you wish to be and to set tangible, achievable goals towards this end? 

In this unique episode, we’re very pleased to be speaking with mindset coach Sandra Lewin. Throughout the episode, Sandra conducts a coaching session with Coffee, Calm & Connection’s Sarah Myerscough as her subject! Throughout, we gain insights into the nature of coaching sessions, and about the progression of Sandra's own journey of self-discovery. Sandra offers an array of helpful tips for building confidence in ourselves and mitigating the guilts and anxieties which many of us can identify with. 

 

Quote of the Episode 

‘'One of the ways to see where the anxiety is coming from, and where the guilt is coming from is actually going back to the core of ‘am I comfortable with me?'’’ 

''Many of our anxieties and feelings of guilt are derived from an uncertainty as to who we are and whether we feel comfortable in our own skin. We often spend so much time concerning ourselves with how we imagine other people perceive us that we don’t always take the time to look at ourselves and consider, am I comfortable with myself?''

 

Key Takeaways 

A key cause of dissatisfaction with oneself can be attributed to the expectations we set for ourselves, and fail to meet. When setting goals for ourselves, we often employ a rhetoric of ‘should’. This is problematic in two respects. Firstly, due to its hypothetical nature, it is built with the possibility of failure or relapse, it contains an acknowledgement or acceptance that you will not be able to adhere to it.

Additionally, it is rooted in logic rather than desire. The things we ostensibly ‘should’ do tend not to match up with those which we ‘want’ to do. In attempting to improve yourself, you should prioritise practices that emotionally engage you and provide you with enjoyment. Thus, you will begin to feel the positive impact of their implementation immediately, and you will not want to stop them. 

This principle can also be valuable when we experience feelings related to impostor syndrome. Many of us have a tendency to put labels on ourselves about the type of person we are, which can lead to profound disappointment and frustration when we do not live up to this aspirational notion. 

If you are struggling to find focus in your life and to truly identify the changes you wish to make in yourself, speaking to a professional coach may be beneficial. 

 

Best Moments/Key Quotes 

“You take mindfulness, you read a book and you're like, okay, unless I'm a guru as of tomorrow it’s like, what's the point? So, it becomes yet another task, another overwhelming thing, which is counterproductive to what is supposed to be doing.” 

‘'Rather than leading with logic and to do of all of these things, if you lead with emotion, positive emotion, interest and enjoyment, just perhaps the other stuff will come in.’'

“Do not try to change 100 things at the same time… Pick one or two.” 

 

Resources 

Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, by Lois P. Frankel 

Talking to the Wild: The Bedtime Stories We Never Knew We Needed, by Becky Hemsley 

About the Guest 

Having previously worked in the insurance industry, in 2020, Sandra set up her own business, Pair2Grow, a coaching service combining expertise in coaching, mindfulness and project management. 

Sandra’s LinkedIn Profile: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/sandralewin 

 

Connect with Sarah  

https://www.instagram.com/coffeecalmconnection/  

https://www.facebook.com/coffeecalmconnection  

https://www.linkedin.com/company/70927508/admin/  

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahmyerscough/  

  

Website: Coffee Calm & Connection (coffeecalmconnection.org)